How Fear Can Steal Your Dreams and Waste Your Passion Part One

How Fear Can Steal Your Dreams and Waste Your Passion Part One

Fear has crippled me. Fear has made me feel less than. Fear has pretended to be my friend while stabbing me in the back.

One thing that I didn’t notice until right now, is that Fear had disguised itself as security. I used security as an excuse. Security became my crutch. I thought if I just kept saying no to everything, I’d keep myself from getting hurt.

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Hi, I'm Lauren

Hi, I'm Lauren

I haven’t written in this space since 2017. “Why?” Might you ask? That’s a great question and I will definitely touch on this a bit more in another post. But I would have to say fear and lack of passion are why I've been vacant.

I adore writing. But my blog has been vacant. I’ve feared re-entering the blog world only to fail and let others down. I’ve been planning on re-launching this blog since May 2018. It’s now the third week of February 2019 and I’m just now hitting publish.

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I went to Haiti last week.  And I think I became an adult. I've always seen myself as "young" and "incapable". But left feeling "older" and "brave".

This past weekend I went to a wedding solo, knowing I wouldn't know anyone but the bride and groom. I sat willingly by myself in service not expecting or hoping I would be asked to sit with someone. Tonight I signed up for my first yoga class in ages and I will not back down.  

Adulting is hard.

I paid my bills early for the first time ever.  

In Haiti, I felt equipped in so many ways, but I'll-equipped in some important ones. This included not being fit enough. The terrain was mountainy and difficult for me to walk on. God reminded me that I need to be fit if I'm going to continue traveling.  

He also reminded me that I haven't arrived and my faith with always be growing and becoming stronger. I don't need a husband to move on with my life.

He lastly reminded me how important finances are and how lazy and irresponsible I have been with mine. In the next short weeks, I'll be finding a side job to help pay off debt and to save money. That will be hard.

Adulting is hard, but God makes me brave and I know with Him I can do hard and great things!