December 2017 - 4 Simple Goals - Expectations

I don't know when the fear started, but it has grown in the realm of me writing on this space.

But, I’m tired of letting fear dictate what I will and won’t do. I’m letting fear know they are no longer my back seat driver! 

It's here where I come alive. It's here where I thrive.

Last week, we took a personality test and I can't wait to share what I got and what it all means. But, the results I got was "you want to be an author." And for as long as I can remember that has been the case. So, I'm not going to let fear or doubt navigate what I can and cannot do! And just because it's not a Monday or heck the beginning of the year, doesn't mean I can't write a blog post.

I'm actually in the process of redesigning and can't wait to share, what I'm doing, but in the meantime. Let's get to today's topic - DECEMBER.

I can't believe that in less than a month Christmas will be here and it will be the New Year. 2017 was the year that flew by. 

I wish I had more time for blog reading, but after google took away the best blog reader ever, I just couldn't get into anything else. But there has been one blog that has stood the test of time:  A Beautiful Mess before Elsie had a slew of writers and contributors, it was just her. For a few years, she shared something called 4 Simple Goals... Before [Year]. Granted she gave herself more time, but I'm going to implement it here because I want to make the most of this month.

4 Simple Goals 2017.jpg

That's it! Those are the goals. All simple, but all unique. I realize I sit on the sidelines so many times, so I'm excited to see Christmas lights. My room needs to be organized so I'll be ready for 2018! I'm planning on baking in lieu of a lot of gifts for Christmas. And last but not least, I want to make sure I'm available for the ones who really need it this season.

December's Expectations (1).jpg

I'm adding a new monthly post to my blog. Instead of making a list of lofty goals that will barely get off the ground, I'm going to share what my expectations are and at the end of the month, I'll share the reality. It's more to see how much my imagination runs wild and where dreams and the real world collide. I'll keep it to ten or less per post.

+ Start practicing yoga (health and wellness)
+ Blog at least two times a week (personal and business)
+ Make executive (essential oils and business)
+ Find doctors in the area (health and wellness)
+ Officially get halfway to body weight goal (health and wellness)
+ Plan my first 2018 trip (personal and adventure)
+ Enjoy the holiday season (personal and wellness)

And there you go! These are my expectations - We will see a huge dose of reality at the end of the month.

Ok, it's your turn! Do you ever plan goals at the end of the year? Do your expectations meet your reality? Is there a dream or goal that you can't accomplish because you're crippled with fear, guilt, doubt, etc.? I'd love to hear from you and where you're reading from!

Until next time!

 

comfort zone

IMG_1057.PNG

What a first week of the year! Of course it starts out great, guns a blazin'. "Hello, world, it's me, Lauren!" But expectations and reality barely ever meet, and if they do thy begin to blur lines and if you don't look in the details you'll miss what was real and imaginary.  

By Wednesday night, I was already spent and tired. Woke up to the dog leaving surprises all around my room and realizing that work wasn't slowing down. 

Instead of working overtime, I was busy cleaning up the "presents" Ellie left me. That left me defeated and tired. Friday morning was a drag and opening my laptop at work reminded me how defeated I felt.  

My wifi connection was working intermittently and my "whatever-sickness-I-have" won and I was forced to go home to take some meds and recover.  

God has really been working on my heart to pursue and cultivate relationships at church this year, so I reached out to a few people who I was sure He was telling me to reach out to. Guys, I hate doing this and rarely do because it takes me out of my comfort zone and a hurdle that seems to be a huge roadblock is rejection. But I pushed back and extended invites.  

I didn't quite get rejected but more of I don't have time right now to spend with you.  

There were definite tears yesterday (Friday). Tears of defeat, tears of tiredness, and tears of pure exhaustion. When it rains, I feel that it just continues to downpour with no relent. It's a tiny snowball that picks up momentum and snow as it rolls down the neverending hill.  

I don't feel like I belong anywhere. And I feel like most conversations at least, seemed forced by others. I haven't found any consistency outside of God and it's hard as we are created to live in community. And as much as I want to give up, I can't. But, I just don't know what to do. 

Is this how Jesus felt? The only constant in His life on earth was God. I should know this, feel this, but it's hard and most times I don't. I know reliving hurt from the past is healing, but this healing process has been long and lonely.  

God, be my constant and guide. My confidant and best friend. My Light and compass. Be my everything.